Saturday, December 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
fuck yes ladies and germs, we made it to 100 posts.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Both members of the garden are present, aren't we George?
That's right Georgia! we are here today, researching LETHAL LADIES~
Such as Lucrezia Borgia and Elizabeth Bathory. I like the idea of becoming one of these women in the near future.
Good thing i'm not a virgin. STOP FARTING!
Ladies and gentlemen, the chair is farting, not I.
Georgia, why don't you tell these fine readers what Elizabeth Bathory is famous for?
She was one of the most beautiful women in the world. She was terrified of aging, and killed 650 beautiful virgins to get their blood and bathe in it in the hopes of gaining youth.
Fantastic, thanks Georgia.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
So I got up twenty minutes before Dyke Ficus was going to pick me up. I got dressed with my Doo Dah Parade shirt and was ready to go. I plopped into Dyke's car and jetted away. We got to Monrovia High School and went through the wrong door, so we cut in line and were almost at the front. I was in a seperate room than Dyke and Butters because my actual last name starts with an "S." I waltzed into the room which was already half full. No one was talking! I thought I was on Marz. So, we started the test instructions and people kept coming in late. At first it was funny, then it wasn't. We started taking the actual test and it wasn't as bad as I thought. This one girl across from me kept petting her hair like an animal or something. Like it was her special kitten. I thought it was almost over at 11:30, but I was WRONG. We got released from the pen at 12:48 and thank the lord Jesus we did. If I had been in there a second longer, I would have melted. The SAT was not has bad as I thought it would be, but it was too long. I wouldn't have hated taking it again, but I'd rather not. Actually, in a way, it's therapeutic. All those bubbles, the one, whiny asian bitch who kept complaing about the heat, the random sneezes. It all was like one, giant coma. And, like waking up from a coma, I had to pee like Seabiscuit.
AND I DID.
Monday, May 9, 2011
The actual SAT is all fun and games until someone forgets a calculator. I didn't. There were BOYS in a CLASSROOM with GIRLS in it. That was strange and I think as far as classrooms go, I prefer them to be lesbian. Wannabe men AKA teenage boy smells awkward and they sound like car engines. At anyrate the test was about to start and some dumbass forgot a calculator. The proctors found one for him and then another boy decided to announce he forgot one too. Little did he know he was just further proving that teenage male is a no go as far as evolution goes. We finished 3 sections, then 4, then 5, then 8, then 10. Then I went to the barn and wanted to shoot myself in the brain. I didn't even have to because it already exploded.
moral of the story: don't have kids so they don't have to take the SAT ever.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
This bitch is back. I'm queen for another 360-ish days, but I'll stop talking about it now.
Tomorrow is a Cinco de Mayo party at the Castle Green. Skittles is taking me. I am excited to sit in he car. I also get to see her chatterday for an art show in LA.
Shasta, Haylee and George poked and punched me yesterday until I farted.
But I didn't fat.
I am etc.,
Monday, May 2, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Until the Doo Dah Parade. I am nervous and stressed, but it will be a good time. All of Sealife+ Man Ficus will be in it, in addition to Brazil Ficus and 4 of Alverno's finest teachers. Jesus isn't invited though.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
George and I are blogging in the KATV room. All of the improv class people are in here and we are having a BALL(s). Georgia will go first.
I am no longer dating Glasses. He is no longer attracted to me, so we are no longer. I told my friend Lauren that and she said "Dude, I'm attracted to you. He's gay." Also, I am queen of the Doo Dah Parade. I sang and took off my clothing. I am in multiple newspapers and here's one. http://pasadenaindependent.com/print-edition/pasadena-independent-april-7-2011/
I'm so cute. I have three dates this weekend with three different guys. I hope one is a winner.
Man Ficus is coming home for prom compliments of OG Mama ficus. That's about it.
A PSA from Butters...
I hope you are having a good day and I hope you have a bright future. I would like to plan a bake sale soon in my apartment complex but my landlady look confused and said "no"
I'm going to ask Georgia if I can have it in her apartment.
And now, a somber moment from Little One...
I would like to inform you that nothing we ever do lasts. We're all just cockroaches. Wildebeast dying in a river. The end.
These things aside I got a date to prom HAHA! Go visit CelestialBrushGod on Deviant Art. Shut up. Just do it.
As you have seen from the title of today's blog, the Ficus Daily has turned one year old. That is all.
George + Georgia= RAGE/ORGI
Sunday, March 13, 2011
sorry we have been occupied lately. junior year sucks. at this exact moment i am waiting for grandphather ficus to hurry up and fix the dryer so that i can go to the barn and see ponaynay ficus. you all should know this by now that i am too bootylicious, and i like my beats fast and my bass down low.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
P.S. Dyke and I paid for barely a gallon of gas in change. It was the ghettoest thing we've ever done.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Hello fellow Ficus'ss's's's's's
Georgia is currently taking her spanish final. I don't have a language final so I'm sitting in the computer lab waiting for a certain someone to text me back. This morning I was awakened by Unspecified Older Sister Ficus at 7:03. Apparently we were to leave in FIVE minutes, and NO LATER. I was slightly pissed simply because that is my general state of being. My zen, mixed with her negative energy was not helpful.
I arrived at school a short 15 minutes later. Georgia was talking to Lady Behrens and that helped restore order. On the plus side, I'm not in AP spanish. Then again, I wont get into an IV league school.
Monday, January 10, 2011
This is Georgia's co-anchor speaking! I am new to the whole blog thing so please bare with me. I was chillin' with Georgia and reading her and George's blog when she exclaimed "Write something." I was like "ok!" So here I am writing you faithful followers a little post. School's about to start. Unfortunately. School sometimes is a little boring. Actually, it is a lot of boring. But I can deal with it because it goes by fast. George just came in the computer lab and is wearing a penguin blanket. It is really cute. Georgia and George just left and left me to finish the post. Great. I really don't know what to say except keep reading "The Ficus Daily." And tell other people about it as well! Ms. Georgia was very pleased and excited to find out that she had the grand total of 9 followers! It may not be a lot but we will take what we can get! The bell is about to ring so I better get going. Have a happy Monday and a good rest of the week.
Co anchor Alessia.
Welcome to the first blog of the New Year! I’m happy to say that the new year has been good for the past 10 days. Some of the festivities that went down are as follows…
-Alessia Co-anchor and I are still tired of KATV.
-Chicago is Alverno’s school musical. There is controversy over who will get the lead. Since our rival Mandela is up for the two largest parts, George and I feel compelled to root against them.
-I got a haircut. The lady dropped the shampoo bottle on my nose. My nose is terribly bruised, but my hair looks good. So, it was worth the pain.
-Stage Manager Ficus told Alessia to move.
-I went to Disneyland with my friend Libya Ficus. FUNNY STORY
We went to Sephora after Disneyland. As you may and should know, Sephora is my second home. The one in Pasadena is my favorite place in all of Paseo. Everyone working there knows me and my reputation. They give me free shit sometimes. SO, I had high expectations of the Anaheim branch. The minute I walked in, I found the nearest gay man working there and said this, “I need mascara that will give me porn star eyelashes for under $20.” He looked at me for five seconds and said, “Done.” I sat down with three choice mascaras ready. I was so flustered that when I tried to put it on, I shaked. Jose said, “CALM DOWN. YOU’RE TOO NERVOUS. Take a deep breath…ok. Put the mascara on.” I ended up with porn lashes for $12. Thank the Lord and Jose and my husband, George.
Mazel tov, 2011!
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